This morning a little before sunrise, the day after my 76th Christmas, I felt compelled to process in writing the deep spiritual curiosity that seems to have set in upon my life over the last couple of years. Not to mention, the new personalities and the sequence of books that have found their way into my hands of late.
Both the people and the authors read, seem all good folk in desperate search of a more meaningful spiritual journey than American Christianity seems to offer of late.
All, to include myself, seem somewhat jaded by the divisive political madness of late, along with growing economic disparities. Some weigh in with a works oriented bootstraps legalism, while others profess a prosperity gospel. Then there are those, all mind you in the faith, sounding rather socialistic in remedies offered. My own lifestyle even now seems suspect of a subtle greed, likely propagated by a lifetime of blue collar effort and what I now refer to as late stage capitalism.
Need I also mention the "head in the sand" approach by those who seem in denial of ecological concerns across our globe, some even righteously awaiting the destruction of the earth, a new heaven and earth promised!
Meanwhile our nation has become almost empire-like in its policing of other nations, though our consumption of goods likely requires as much. Our nuclear arsenals are thought to hold tyrants at bay, yet again, most foreign economies are fully aware of their dependancy upon our consumption of their goods.
For instance, despite the fact that the United States is a world leader in semiconductor design and R&D, chip manufacturing occurs mostly in Asia. Only 12 percent of the world’s semiconductor chips are made in the United States, down from 37 percent in 1990. (Data source updated May 26,2024).
Whether these are the "Last Days" I was raised to expect or a felt depletion of a once results oriented Christianity now long distorted by institutional religion, who knows. Yet, as I share with those who will come behind we Boomers, I still have a deep hope in my heart for mankind.
My sense is that we are on the cusp of one of those transformative moments akin to the Great Reformation, long overdue if that 500 year repetitive historical calendar holds true.
All this has created a growing urgency with my spirit for transparency and open communication, regardless of consequences.
Apparently, writing has become my therapeutic necessity over the last decade, now intensified given growing skepticism of our treatment of scripture and a suspect of the best of mankind, now having served alongside so many well intended spiritual leaders.
If I am sounding overly negative, I trust it is only evidence of my deepening hunger for truth and the "Word that was God" and a loss for words that adequately communicate that desire. They say, the more you write the better you become? We'll see.
I guess I have lived long enough to convince myself of the true nature of those uber religious, while also witnessing the contrasting impact among the majority of those less expressive of their godliness. Yet when it comes to creativity, be that by way of technology or scientific breakthroughs that sustain our lives, the latter are often the discoverers, though all the while deeming themselves unworthy of the grace of clergy.
Without them, we likely would have already perished as a species. Think Covid, or in my case a recent heart surgery.
Layered over all the above, this Christmas provided a moment with my grandson as he sat beside me in a Christmas Eve service, which afforded an opportunity to participate with this fifth grader in the sacrament of communion.
The bread and juice (among evangelicals) were passed in those convenient plastic cups, the elements prepackaged separately. Less likely now is the passing of some preCovid common cup, wiped cleaned by clergy in between sips!
If John Luther listened to the sermon, he fully understood his unworthiness as a human. That too concerned me, as I now know that we may have over emphasized the latter, as means of sustaining some necessary sheep and goats mentality. One that was early on deemed constructive in persuading folk of their need of a saviour, thus escaping a pending wrath.
It has become my humble opinion that, the Lamb was slain, but only so as to remove any possible doubt of the universal love of God, yet the dogma and ordinances of the church have now consumed millennia escaping from her fearful roots of religion.
As her numbers diminish, God seems to be saying, "How's that working for you!"
That fear based approach may have robbed many of the awareness of God's mercies and in turn their preordained calling, crafted within them while still in their mother's womb. Balance seemed missing, though I understood the intent as I sat beside my grandson.
Christmas eve services are often attended by unchurched family members, with the sacraments requiring protection lest visitors compound their sinfulness, let alone the children in the audience (perhaps too tongue in cheek here).
I am hoping my grandson somehow escapes what bred despair and the feeling of being less than qualified to lead and succeed in my own life, when in reality spiritual freedom is solely by virtue of grace, and we are all indeed deeply loved by our "Father in Heaven."
Hear my sense of need to abolish such blatant secular/sacred divide as what religion has for millennia nutured, rather accepting whom Christ has now made to be the "preisthood of believers" and with that a peace on earth that provides "goodwill for all mankind."
Perhaps my suspect, my skepticism is somewhat prophetic though uncomfortable when fully transparent, yet I shall risk a misunderstanding of my faith and post anyway. Love does that when it seems that truth is also risk.
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