This blog was written shortly after an unexpected reset of my brain back in August of 2014 but apparently, I had never posted it. I decided to search online per that season of my life, though I have written about in a couple of my books.
All this came to mind this morning after hearing the pastor reference one's psychological wiring in the morning sermon.
Never since have I heard of such as was personally experienced within that brief 8 hour time warp; a dark hole, never to be recovered, short of the moments shared by care providers and attending family members.
"It seems as if a full year has been packed into the last month, between an overly scheduled professional calendar, which I am trying to bring under control, the needs of a lifelong friend now requiring oversight and rehabilitation, my immediate family’s care (throw in a kitchen remodeling) and now the blessing of a beautiful first grandchild; it has been quite the harried thirty days.
My time of personal processing, which this blog affords, has been somewhat limited. My mornings have been continually anchored by the grace that enters through my devotional walk, not only with my ancient leather backed companion of scripture, but two other books that have seemed providential.
Both books were offered by a friend who had been scheduled prior to my personal confrontation with my human limitations and have nurtured introspection, as I attempt to afford ample time for my ongoing miracle of rewiring.
If you are a first time reader, previous blogs will afford insight into this miracle, though my request of the Lord was not, at least to me, something novel, though very much needed.
I have always believed God to strengthen me for moments of endurance and deep journey that for many would go un-attempted. Of course with that kind of life approach, failure or near failure is common.
Let me clarify that many have attempted and accomplished feats well beyond my own, and for those mentors I am grateful. So, my transparency is offered with humility, relative to my station in life.
With the enhancement of technology and as I my wife defines it, the addictive nature of social media, our lives have become non-stop. For a change agent, or at least one who grabs life by the throat each morning, this may set up an unreal expectation of winning.
As stated in an earlier post, winning at times come easily but often requires warring, wounding and eventually the need for re-wiring.
Yesterday may have been pivotal given my recent prayers toward that end. My first grandchild came into the world, with new challenges and new energy afforded my genes! New possibilities for transference of long pent up vision for His Kingdom come, to this earth.
Please, I’ll say it again, all my thoughts are offered with humble transparency though sincere and obviously vulnerable.
My energies once given to career, income stream, even community mentoring have now been given new focus with the arrival of John Luther.
My wife and I found it humorous, given that the personalized license plate ordered on the week following my Transient Global Amnesia moment arrived the same day as our new grandson, John Luther, replacing the former mayoral plate, "MAY-R."
As this day opens, I continue to offer moment by moment a much prayerful opportunity for my sovereign Lord, such that each ill-thought word or misspent action ever recorded in my brain be discarded, just as was likely the case with the old, and likely by day 4, liquid cerebral cells of Lazarus!
I have become known to my family and friends as one REWIRED, as my new license plate now reads."
Transient Global Amnesia (TGA) was the medical diagnosis, but little did they know the story behind my prayer for a fresh rewiring of my brain after decades of serving and caring for others.
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Continued below is the blog published just days after the aforementioned TGA event in August of 2014:
"I may have just experienced one of the most bizarre moments in my life, the onset of something called Transient Global Amnesia.
I am told it is an unexplained catch-all for a stroke like moment that leaves no physical challenges other than a black hole of memory, lasting less than 24 hours, now being reconstructed from feedback from those nearby at the onset. As intriguing as that may sound, that is not what this posting is about and is absolutely not about sympathy.
Rather, the opportunity to encourage and to share what I believe to have been a bizarre spiritual moment that happens to fit the definition of the medical terminology referenced as TGA.
Peter mentioned something similar in I Peter 4:12-13, “Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.”
Perhaps such was the case for this Christ follower? If so, let’s call this post simply my rejoicing, and the transparency more about helping others than protecting my image, for I am told that some find it difficult to “walk out of the woods” that occur post episode.
The bizarre thing to me has been the nature of my prayers these past few months, that is, that the Lord would somehow rewire my brain. Yes, physically removing the collective damage that comes from the blows of a fully engaged life. Let’s move on.
For context, I must reference a message delivered recently by a guest minister at my church. During his talk, the speaker referenced terms I had used as chapter headings in a recent draft for a book which I felt best described my life journey. The words were Winning, Warring and Wounding; his lecture expanded the alliteration to include “wiring.”
Implied is the long term toil on one’s life as he or she matures. It should be fairly obvious, at least to adults, the reality that life has its times when wins come easy, yet there are equal times when in order to win, there seems a need for more significant energy output; physically, mentally and yes at times, spiritually.
Those familiar with the spiritual sometimes categorize these laborious moments as spiritual warfare. A text is often cited among Christians from Matthew 11:12, “the violent take it by force.” Yes, there have been moments when the only way through seems to be forceful prayer, even utterances and groanings not understandable even to the prayer…praying in the Spirit.
Such has been the case many times in my life; so, upon hearing the aforementioned teaching, I began to pray that God would re-wire my mind, removing the impairments that could offend others or lessen the impact of my future life as an elder. Is this possible? Why not, given that Lazarus was dead for four days, his cerebral matter perhaps liquid by then? Yet, we read of his conversation at a gathering shortly after his resurrection; and shall I mention the Lord’s more brutal passing and miraculous recovery? I thought I might be foolish, not to pray toward that end.
Thus my prayers began some weeks back, of necessity at times, given the full life I seem to be leading, and on top of that, preparing for my first grandchild later this month.
Friday, following a couple coaching conversations, I returned from my office with some apparent symptoms that caused my daughter pause, such as asking the same questions repeatedly. Though I don’t recall it, I apparently recommended that she take me to the fine hospital now located so close to our home in Clemmons, and from there, a rushed trip by ambulance to Forsyth Hospital, during which, I vaguely recall counting the bridges as we hurriedly moved up I-40 toward the emergency room. Fortunately, I was not the stroke victim previously diagnosed, and I a grateful to God.
After preparing to leave the hospital, I stepped into the restroom for a quite moment apart from family. I asked the Lord, “What does this mean?” I know I heard a soft whisper, “I’ve been listening to you pray.”
Slowing down might be in order and that too will be good given the approaching birth of John Luther; and, I am rejoicing and trusting that those around me, who have long noticed my blind spots, will see constructive change. I’m looking forward to a bright future, given that physicians have assured me through MRI’s, EKG’s, neurological interviews and the like, that no damage was evident and TGA seldom occurs twice.
Yes, I have even ordered a new license plate, an excuse to replace the long overdue, MAY-R. It will read, REWIRED."
For some of more suspect readers, this answers a lot of questions!
Ha! Grateful for the fresh start in 2014!
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